Courtney was diagnosed 7 years ago and believe it or not there are days where I say to myself, “holy crap, she has autism and this is here forever”.

It’s at a moment where I’m laying next to her in my bed that I share with her until 1 a.m. waiting for her to fall asleep.

It’s at a moment when I get called by the school saying she bit someone and broke skin.

It’s at a moment where I’m stripping the bed because she peed through her diaper again.

It’s at a moment where I have to block her from going after me aggressively.

It’s at a moment where we are cleaning poop off her hands.

It’s at a moment when my husband who has always been the more “hopeful” one that she will lead a normal life as an adult says, “she’s always going to need a caregiver”.

I’ve never been in denial, I’ve always fully accepted her diagnosis. But sometimes I have a moment where I say “holy crap, she has autism and this is here forever”.