I love hearing her talk. I love that she can express her desires. I love the sound of her voice. But the words “gray pants” have become the most frustrating phrase I hear repeatedly throughout the day.

When she mentions “gray pants,” she’s referring to my comfy gray sweatpants that I usually change into at the end of the day. (No need to worry, I have a few pairs, so it’s not the same one every night.) But these pants are more than just that…

They symbolize that Mom is home for the day.
They signify that Mom won’t be stepping out of the house.
They indicate that Mom will be by her side constantly.

As soon as I step inside the house, “gray pants” is the first thing she says, and she keeps saying it until I put them on. She even hides any other clothes I lay out for the next day, including my workout gear. In the morning, it’s the first thing she mentions when I wake up. These pants, once so comfortable, now feel like a burden because they’ve become a symbol of intense separation anxiety.

Both my girls have faced separation anxiety at different times. Since I am a working mom and both girls are in therapies and other activities, they’ve learned that there are moments when mommy can’t be right there with them. However, over the past year, Courtney’s separation anxiety has worsened significantly, making it a challenging phase for us to navigate.

In the midst of this challenging phase of heightened separation anxiety, I hold on to the hope that with time, patience, and understanding, we will find our way through. As a mom, I will continue to reassure Courtney, provide her with love and support, and work towards helping her navigate her emotions. While “gray pants” may currently symbolize this struggle, I believe that eventually, they will represent a journey of growth and resilience. Until then, I should go put on my gray pants before she gets home.