In honor of Courtney turning 10 soon, I’m going to spend the last 9 days of her single digit days posting memories of each year.
Year 6…
The start of this year was so tough. I will actually say the first few months gave me PTSD. Just around her birthday she started having these full blown meltdowns that included screaming in pain. She would bird herself so hard that it left bruises for days. So many dr appointments that lead us to know answers until after 3 months where one dr finally said…severe constipation. Such a tough phase, but we got through it.
We took another magical trip to Disney World. This time we celebrated Christmas there. So many priceless moments as she met some of her favorite characters.
That year she finished her 3rd and last year of preschool. It was such a bittersweet moment to see her finish her last Duckling Dash and say goodbye to those who helped her grow so much in just 3 years.
You could also tell that Alyssa was starting to catch on that Courtney was different then her. She loved helping Courtney with things.
My beautiful, energetic, Brown Bear loving sweetheart was growing up fast.
In honor of Courtney turning 10 soon, I’m going to spend the last 9 days of her single digit days posting memories of each year.
Year 4…
We wrapped up her previous year officially getting the autism diagnosis for Courtney so this year was all about us figuring out what she needed and how we would survive this journey.
Preschool started, more therapies were added, our amazing village grew larger including the addition of our amazing nanny, Savannah!
The feeling of a exhaustion became a norm for me as she learned to climb higher, run faster and explore everything. Her energy was endless but her smile was priceless.
It was also the year she experienced the magic of Disney World for the first time!
In honor of Courtney turning 10 soon, I’m going to spend the last 9 days of her single digit days posting memories of each year.
Year 5…
More climbing, more running, and the energized bunny is still going!
I think my favorite moment of the year was right at the beginning when my family moved Courtney’s birthday party outside to the front yard when she was too afraid to go inside. It was priceless!
Her 2nd year in preschool really taught me how to be Courtney’s advocate. I disagreed with her placement but my amazing girl proved to everyone that she can take on any challenge we put forth. It was a year of helping her find her voice in alternative ways.
One of my favorite adventures this year was horse therapy. Courtney had mix feelings about horse therapies. Some times she loved, sometimes she hated it. Alyssa and I thought it was awesome!
They say it takes a village to raise a child. We lost a beautiful member of our village that year (love ya, miss ya Nancy). As each year of this journey passed by, I continue to be amazed by the love and support our village gives us.
In honor of Courtney turning 10 soon, I’m going to spend the last 9 days of her single digit days posting memories of each year.
Year 3…
All I can say is… What a year! I remember just hours after almost dying while delivering Alyssa the thing I was worried most about was that we almost missed the call to get Courtney set up with early intervention. It was at that time I knew we were headed down the road of autism. Courtney needed help and it needed to start right away.
Even though it was the year courtney was diagnosed with autism, it was far from a bad year.
It was the year she became a big sister.
It was a year our family became complete.
It was the year we learned that giving Courtney a little sister was the best thing we could ever do for her.
It was the year we started therapies and build village that would become a part of our family for a lifetime.
It was the year i quickly learned Courtney was part monkey, part bat, part energizer bunny and likely would become a trapeze artist!
It was a hard year. A very hard year. But it was the year that started us on the amazing journey that lead us to wear we are today.
In honor of Courtney turning 10 soon, I’m going to spend the last 9 days of her single digit days posting memories of each year.
Year 2…
This year started off with me mourning over a miscarriage. I was so sad on her first birthday. The loss of who was supposed to be her baby sister devastated me. I can say without a doubt though that watching Courtney take her first steps, become a climber, say some words, sing her favorite song, “Let it Go” got me through those sad days. Then a few months later we’re were finally able to announce she was going to be a big sister.
Some of the memories I have from year 2 I hold on tightly because those were the months before I knew autism was going to be a part of our journey. Sure, there are times I wish I could have those days back but if that happened, we wouldn’t have had the pleasure of going on the amazing journey that started the next year.
Those beautiful blue eyes, the smile that lit up the room, her never ending energy…so much happiness!
In honor of Courtney turning 10 soon, I’m going to spend the last 9 days of her single digit days posting a memory of each year.
Year 1…
Where do I start? Her birth, the colicky days, hitting the big milestones? I’m going with our journey with torticollis and plagiocephaly. I remember at her well visit being told that Courtney had torticollis and plagiocephaly. Though the dr explained it to me, I still felt the news was earth shattering (kinda funny to think about now)! I cried the whole way home.
I learned quickly that this wasn’t earth shattering. In fact, looking back, it was barely a hiccup! Pretty sure some friends and family told me I would feel that way eventually.
We got her set up with physical therapy and she wore a helmet for about 6 months, then that was it! What I thought was earth shattering quickly became probably the easiest part of her early development.
That first year was amazing. Where has the time gone?!
Alyssa has life threatening food allergies. Four years ago today she had a severe reaction that needed 2 epi pens to stop the violent vomiting, coughing and hives. Since that reaction she has become extremely anxious around food to the point that she has needed feeding therapy.
For awhile she had made a lot of progress with trying new things. Recently she has regressed. Honestly, her list of foods that she will eat is smaller than Courtney’s list.
Her anxiety is so intense that there are items she likes to eat but will only eat it if I make it because she’s afraid it would be made differently by someone else and then possibly not safe to eat. She basically won’t eat at other people’s houses except for Mac N Cheese at my parent’s house. While on our trip, she almost refused to eat her favorite chips because they were bought at a different store. I watched her cry in front of a bowl of Mac n cheese saying it smelled so good but she was too afraid to take a bite because we were at a restaurant, not home.
I know we have built the support team to help her through this but it still breaks my heart that a simple bite of a sandwich 4 years ago has lead us to where we are today.
Courtney has always loved the feelings of other people’s hands. More so women’s and young children. She loves soft hands and women with long nails. She connected with Alyssa when she was born because of the baby soft hands.
We just ended a wonderful trip to Mackinac Island where we stayed at the Grand Hotel. Every summer the hotel has a package called Princess and Superhero weekend. For 2 days, princesses and superheroes are at the hotel and put on the most magical experiences for the children. Events included a reception, superhero training, princess tea, makeovers, a ball and capped off by a graduation ceremony where all the children become honorary princesses and superheroes.
Of course Alyssa thought it was all magical. The princesses and superheroes get up close and personal with all the children. They learn their names. They make them feel so special. Alyssa cried as she said goodbye to all of them on the last day.
Then there was Courtney. The first night at the welcome reception she was overwhelmed. She sat in her special stroller where she is most comfortable. I pushed her around to meet each one but she would just let them wave from a far.
She did finally get out of her stroller and she walked up to Wonder Women and Captain America. They were holding their shields. They quietly stood there and held their shields out while she touched them and explored them with her hands. the smiles on their faces were priceless as they watched her slowly warm up to them.
Then she found Anna and Elsa. Her favorites. Elsa just happened to put her hand out and Courtney started feeling them. She started touching her dress. I shared that she loves the feel of hands so then Anna put her hands out. Sure enough, Courtney started touching her hands.
I was then walking around with Alyssa. She was visiting with one of the princesses and Rapunzel walked up to me and asked me the most beautiful question. She asked if there was anything she could do to help connect with Courtney. So I shared how she loves touching hands. Sure enough, as the next 2 days progressed, whenever one of the princesses and superheroes approached her they started off by giving her their hand. she grew comfortable with them and they fell in love with her.
So gentle. So patient. So inclusive. So beautiful and so incredibly magical!
Graduation ceremony was the perfect ending. Elsa came and sat next to her. Elsa sat with her while Courtney touched her hands. Then the magic really happened. She gave Elsa a hug.
I can’t thank this company enough for the amazing 2 days they gave both the girls.
Courtney was diagnosed 7 years ago and believe it or not there are days where I say to myself, “holy crap, she has autism and this is here forever”.
It’s at a moment where I’m laying next to her in my bed that I share with her until 1 a.m. waiting for her to fall asleep.
It’s at a moment when I get called by the school saying she bit someone and broke skin.
It’s at a moment where I’m stripping the bed because she peed through her diaper again.
It’s at a moment where I have to block her from going after me aggressively.
It’s at a moment where we are cleaning poop off her hands.
It’s at a moment when my husband who has always been the more “hopeful” one that she will lead a normal life as an adult says, “she’s always going to need a caregiver”.
I’ve never been in denial, I’ve always fully accepted her diagnosis. But sometimes I have a moment where I say “holy crap, she has autism and this is here forever”.
7 years ago is when the journey started. 7 years ago we took Courtney into the building that became her preschool to be evaluated.
It’s ironic that today on the 7 year anniversary of it being determined that she needed an IEP. Joe and I met with two administrators in the district to discuss some of our frustrations with her placement for next year.
As I sat and watched Joe be OUR voice at the meeting today I thought of this picture. I knew today was the anniversary before I even saw it pop up in my Facebook memories.
So many transitions since that day 7 years ago. So many unknowns. But most importantly so much growth.
We continue to have so many emotions about the transition that lies ahead for 4th grade But if there is anything we have learned in the past 7 years is that Courtney can handle any challenge she’s thrown.
Autism: A Little Wild 