This may just look like a picture of Alyssa’s back. I Couldn’t take a video since the other one was naked BUT what was happening was Alyssa was being Courtney’s therapist during bath time.
From just days after Alyssa was born she has either been carted to her sister’s therapies or has seen therapies happen in her house. She knows the skills Courtney is working on, she knows how to ask the questions, she even knows how to be patient and kind.
I think the coolest part is that Alyssa truly believes (and is kinda right) that Courtney listens to her better than anyone else.
We have been back to school for a month now. What a busy 4 weeks it has been. Two teachers and two children getting back in the routine. Alyssa adjusting to a new teacher and new classmates. Courtney adjusting to new EVERYTHING! Joe and I continue to roll with the punches as we navigate through it all.
So how is it going?
Alyssa has had a great start to 2nd grade. I am so proud of her. As much as she loved her Kindergarten and 1st grade teacher, I think she needed a fresh start. Yes, there has been anxiety. Yes there have been some minor issues here or there. But she has worked through it all like a champ. I feel like we have even made some breakthroughs on what is triggering some of her anxiety so now we can help her even more. Though, as well as things are going, after such a rough year last year, I struggle letting my guard down. I keep waiting for that phone call or email saying she is struggling again. I’m hoping that as each good day goes by, I will feel a little more confident that it is going to be a great year!
As for Courtney? The transition to her new school has been tough. Her new team seems very nice and I believe they are working hard to make this a positive experience, but so far all we are seeing is an increase in aggressive behaviors. The frequency and intensity is higher than we have seen in a long time. There are bruises on her arms from all the self biting. It is breaking my heart knowing she is struggling there.
Is it because of all the changes?
Is it the cold that hit our household?
Is it the fact that we are on the verge of her going through one of the biggest changes a young girl can go through?
Unfortunately Courtney cannot express what she is feeling verbally. Her only way of expressing her frustration with something is through behaviors. So as mama bear, I am left wracking my brain trying to figure it out. Fortunately the behaviors are not carrying over as much at home so I get to see a happy girl every night.
So that is where we are at as we finish the first month of a new school year. Overall, I guess you can say we are hanging in there…possibly just by a thread. We are taking each day as it comes.
I’m going to be honest. I’m struggling as I say goodnight to Courtney on her last night of being 9. can’t come up with the words. I looked through old posts and came across one from 3 years ago that says it all. I’m reposting it and changing the age….
10 years ago tonight, joe and I went to our favorite Mexican restaurant. That night we were just a married couple enjoying our last night as just that. The next day we became parents. Parents of our beautiful Courtney.
Ten years ago we knew we were about to start an amazing adventure but there was no preparing us for the adventure we were truly about to embark. Ten years ago we new we were about to be parents but we had no idea we were about to become autism parents. Ten years ago we were about to become mommy and daddy but we didn’t know the effort it would take for her to say mommy or daddy. Ten years ago we were prepared for the ups and downs of parenting but we were not prepared for the ups and downs, the struggles and celebrations, the laughter and tears and the complete joy of parenting a child with autism. And here we are, ten years later, excited to celebrate our special 10 year old tomorrow.
Oh Courtney, as we celebrate you and the past 10 years, as unprepared as we were that night, we wouldn’t trade the journey you have brought us on and continue to take us on for the world. We love you, Courtney Cathryn! Happy night before your birthday!
In honor of Courtney turning 10 soon, I’m going to spend the last 9 days of her single digit days posting memories of each year.
Year 8…
Still in 2020 so things still….sucked. School was different. Therapies were different. Everything was still different.
As much as it felt time stopped during that awful year, Courtney continued to grow up fast!
We started school virtually, celebrated birthdays quickly outside, trick or treated at the end of driveways, Savannah returned AND Courtney got to meet her favorite animal 🐧 up close and personal!
2020 wasn’t all that bad! At least not when you are the mom of this precious girl (and Alyssa too)!
In honor of Courtney turning 10 soon, I’m going to spend the last 9 days of her single digit days posting memories of each year.
Year 6…
The start of this year was so tough. I will actually say the first few months gave me PTSD. Just around her birthday she started having these full blown meltdowns that included screaming in pain. She would bird herself so hard that it left bruises for days. So many dr appointments that lead us to know answers until after 3 months where one dr finally said…severe constipation. Such a tough phase, but we got through it.
We took another magical trip to Disney World. This time we celebrated Christmas there. So many priceless moments as she met some of her favorite characters.
That year she finished her 3rd and last year of preschool. It was such a bittersweet moment to see her finish her last Duckling Dash and say goodbye to those who helped her grow so much in just 3 years.
You could also tell that Alyssa was starting to catch on that Courtney was different then her. She loved helping Courtney with things.
My beautiful, energetic, Brown Bear loving sweetheart was growing up fast.
In honor of Courtney turning 10 soon, I’m going to spend the last 9 days of her single digit days posting memories of each year.
Year 4…
We wrapped up her previous year officially getting the autism diagnosis for Courtney so this year was all about us figuring out what she needed and how we would survive this journey.
Preschool started, more therapies were added, our amazing village grew larger including the addition of our amazing nanny, Savannah!
The feeling of a exhaustion became a norm for me as she learned to climb higher, run faster and explore everything. Her energy was endless but her smile was priceless.
It was also the year she experienced the magic of Disney World for the first time!
In honor of Courtney turning 10 soon, I’m going to spend the last 9 days of her single digit days posting memories of each year.
Year 5…
More climbing, more running, and the energized bunny is still going!
I think my favorite moment of the year was right at the beginning when my family moved Courtney’s birthday party outside to the front yard when she was too afraid to go inside. It was priceless!
Her 2nd year in preschool really taught me how to be Courtney’s advocate. I disagreed with her placement but my amazing girl proved to everyone that she can take on any challenge we put forth. It was a year of helping her find her voice in alternative ways.
One of my favorite adventures this year was horse therapy. Courtney had mix feelings about horse therapies. Some times she loved, sometimes she hated it. Alyssa and I thought it was awesome!
They say it takes a village to raise a child. We lost a beautiful member of our village that year (love ya, miss ya Nancy). As each year of this journey passed by, I continue to be amazed by the love and support our village gives us.
In honor of Courtney turning 10 soon, I’m going to spend the last 9 days of her single digit days posting memories of each year.
Year 3…
All I can say is… What a year! I remember just hours after almost dying while delivering Alyssa the thing I was worried most about was that we almost missed the call to get Courtney set up with early intervention. It was at that time I knew we were headed down the road of autism. Courtney needed help and it needed to start right away.
Even though it was the year courtney was diagnosed with autism, it was far from a bad year.
It was the year she became a big sister.
It was a year our family became complete.
It was the year we learned that giving Courtney a little sister was the best thing we could ever do for her.
It was the year we started therapies and build village that would become a part of our family for a lifetime.
It was the year i quickly learned Courtney was part monkey, part bat, part energizer bunny and likely would become a trapeze artist!
It was a hard year. A very hard year. But it was the year that started us on the amazing journey that lead us to wear we are today.
In honor of Courtney turning 10 soon, I’m going to spend the last 9 days of her single digit days posting memories of each year.
Year 2…
This year started off with me mourning over a miscarriage. I was so sad on her first birthday. The loss of who was supposed to be her baby sister devastated me. I can say without a doubt though that watching Courtney take her first steps, become a climber, say some words, sing her favorite song, “Let it Go” got me through those sad days. Then a few months later we’re were finally able to announce she was going to be a big sister.
Some of the memories I have from year 2 I hold on tightly because those were the months before I knew autism was going to be a part of our journey. Sure, there are times I wish I could have those days back but if that happened, we wouldn’t have had the pleasure of going on the amazing journey that started the next year.
Those beautiful blue eyes, the smile that lit up the room, her never ending energy…so much happiness!
Autism: A Little Wild 