I sit here on the the eve of Courtney’s 4th birthday looking back on all the adventures she has taken us on in just 4 short years. Adventures that have brought happiness, laughter, joy, frustration, tears, fear, and many sleepless nights. Adventures that if you asked me 4 years ago today if I was prepared for, I would say not a chance in hell. I remember the day we brought Courtney home from the hospital. My sister Cheri called me and I immediately broke into tears. I remember telling her that I was scared to death because now I had this little girl that I’m suppose to just know how to take care of. She reassured me my feelings were normal and that I did know what I was doing. To my surprise, we did.

Watching her grow into her little ball of energy has been life changing. I knew things would change once we had kids, but I never knew how much I would change. Courtney, has changed me. Being her mom has made me a munch stronger person. Because of her I’ve had to learn how to trust my gut and find my voice to fight for what I believe. From when she needed a helmet, needed early intervention, needing additional therapy to getting her an appropriate education. I also never knew how well I could learn to function on very little sleep. But snuggles with her in the middle of the night made it worth it!

I’ve also learned what the saying “it takes a village” truly means. Whether it be people helping me watch her and Alyssa, therapists, friends and family giving their love and support or even those who just cheer us on via social media. I will never be able to thank our “village” enough!

Tomorrow is more than just her birthday. Tomorrow is the day her class goes from 5 children to 15 children. I only wish I could be right by her side tomorrow to help her feel comfortable and regulated. I watched her this weekend during her different birthday parties really struggle at times with all the people. She was able to hold it together and both gatherings ended up a huge success, but I was there to help her. I won’t be there tomorrow.  I can only hope it will all go well.

So…Courtney, the happiest of birthdays to you! Mommy and Daddy love you to pieces and are so proud of you.