I am strong…

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I never considered my self as a strong person. It was never an adjective I would use to describe myself. Life happens though and it usually ends up being those life experiences that makes you stronger. My divorce definitely helped make me a little stronger. I learned a lot about myself during that time. Learned that I am strong enough to pick myself up and move on. Learned that I am strong enough to live by myself. Though even after that I’m not sure I would have still considered myself strong.

It’s amazing how children change you. I finally came to realize how strong I was when I had to convince other’s that Courtney needed a helmet to correct the shape of her head. That strength had to come out even stronger when I was noticing regression and significant language delays in her and needed to convince loved ones that we needed to be concerned. Now, here I am, fighting for an appropriate education for my little girl. I wrote a not so nice (but professional) e-mail recently to the principal of her school and as I sent it, I was kinda in shock that I wrote it. I truly didn’t know I had it in me! It made me think about how you never want to mess with an animal who is with their baby. Kinda makes me want to say, “don’t mess with this mama bear”!

I’ve been very frustrated the past 24 hours because things have been brought to my attention that causes me to believe that as well as Courtney seems to be doing at school, I’m not sure she is being challenged. I am so glad she is happy at school and she’s not being aggressive towards her new friends, but I feel she is happy at school because they are letting her run the show. I think it is great that she is able to handle being around a class full of “typical” peers. I think it’s great that she is enjoying playing in the different centers including the paint center where she seems to love to paint herself more than the paper. But is she learning? Are demands being put on her? It appears I need to start building up my new found strength as we meet again with the team in a couple of weeks.

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