I was watching a movie tonight while lying next to Courtney. It was about a father and his son with Autism. Parts of the movie made me really emotional. Watching the struggles that this father went through with his son were just a little too close to home. The movie got me thinking what the future would look like with Courtney. Because of the movie, my brain let me put a negative twist on what Courtney’s future could look like. Will she verbally communicate? Will she be bullied? Will she be able to work up to grade level in any subject? Will I ever not have to worry that she will be aggressive towards someone? Will she attend college? Will she marry? Will she be able to live independently? I know some of these questions are questions everyone probably asks themselves about their little children, but when I think of these questions, the first thing that comes out of my mouth is no to all of them. I watch a movie like the one I just watched and that is how I see my future. This father had a continuous fight with his son’s school on placement. There were scenes that broke my heart as someone bullied the child at school. They couldn’t go out in public without the fear of the child running away. I watched the boy regress when moved to a therapeutic day school that ended up being the wrong fit. So when I watch a movie like, “A Boy Named Po”, I feel like I am looking at a crystal ball. A movie like this one gives me a quick glance of what life may look like when Courtney gets older. I know….stop watching movies like this. I’ve always been a sucker for the movies that pull at your heart strings!
The movie probably tugged at my heart strings more because of the timing. This week we have Courtney’s parent/teacher conference. Also this week our advocate observed Courtney in her classroom. I also heard recently some rumors of a direction her district may be headed to when it comes to educating student’s with special needs (because of it being rumors, I’m not going to go into details about it).
I’ll let myself start stressing about the future at times. Who doesn’t? But then I stop myself and remind myself that all I can worry about is the here and now. Right now, I have a very happy and healthy little girl who has a contagious laugh, energy that the energizer bunny couldn’t even keep up with and an amazing home team of people that will do anything to help Courtney progress.