Trigger warning…

While a lot of adults are binge watching new shows I choose to rewatch old tv series that I’ve watched before. The one I’m rewatching right now is ER. Go ahead, laugh at me…lol. The most recent episode I watched really triggered some emotions for me.

Recap of episode…an older brother and sister were brought into the ER after a bad car accident. The brother was badly injured while the sister’s injuries were not as major but it was apparent quite quickly that the sister had some pretty significant learning disabilities. In one scene you also found out that this brother and sister lost their parents a while back so the brother was taking care of his sister. The brother needed emergency surgery and the last scene you see with him, he is saying, “I am all she has, I can’t die”. I emotionally lost it. Well needless to say, and expected in a tv drama, the brother died.

This storyline hit me hard. So very hard. I often think about the responsibilities that will fall on Alyssa after Joe and I die. And any time I think about it I usually end up in tears. Though I’m sure she will handle it as awesome as any special need’s sibling will, it is still hard to think about. I think part of what gets me is it is only Alyssa. I have a brother with special needs that will likely always need to live with someone. I think about how lucky he is to have 9 siblings that will always have his back once our parents are no longer with us. That is not the case for Courtney and Alyssa. Because of this, I often wish I was able to have another child.

All parents worry about their child’s future, but as a special need’s parent, that future is even more scary. I try not to think about it too much but I do need to think about it enough so she is taken care of the day we are no longer able to. So ER…you triggered a lot of emotions. Next time, give me a heads up.

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