Yesterday, my little girl turned 13.

Thirteen. A teenager.

And while the calendar says she is 13, autism has taught me that age is so much more complicated than just a number.

Her body is 13. Her hormones are 13. And lately, her emotions can definitely be 13.

But cognitively and emotionally, she is still much younger.

She isn’t interested in boys, the latest music, makeup, or hanging out with friends. She isn’t asking for a phone or scrolling through social media.

She’s happy tearing paper into tiny pieces (along with any other item she can tear into pieces).

She loves alphabet toys and animal toys.

Putty (oh the putty)!

And many of the toys that most people would consider toddler toys.

And honestly? I’ve learned to be ok with that.

Sometimes I look at this beautiful 13-year-old standing in front of me, and it’s hard to believe how quickly the years have gone by. Her body continues to grow and change, while so much of who she is and what brings her joy remains wonderfully innocent and young (and just as exhausting as the toddler stage).

Parenting her means constantly living in two worlds at once.

She is a teenager.

But she also still needs many of the same supports, guidance, and understanding that a much younger child needs.

She may be experiencing all the big, confusing emotions and hormones of being 13 without fully understanding what is happening inside her body or being able to tell us exactly how she feels.

And that can be hard.

But yesterday, as we celebrated her turning 13, I tried not to think too much about what a “typical” 13-year-old does.

Because she doesn’t need to be a typical 13-year-old.

She gets to be her.

The girl who loves alphabet toys, putty, tearing paper, and all the little things that bring her joy.

So yes, yesterday she turned 13.

And while she may be a teenager by age, she will always experience the world in her own way, on her own timeline.

And I wouldn’t want her to be anyone else. ❤️