“Is she excited for Christmas?”

“What does she want for Christmas?”

“Does she understand the whole Christmas thing?”

There are so many questions I have been asked in regards to Courtney and Christmas. The answers to the ones above? Honestly, I don’t know because she can’t tell me.

I wish she could tell me the answers to some of these questions. I wish I knew if she even realizes it is Christmas. As a mother of a non-verbal child you learn to understand their thoughts through other cues. I can tell there are parts of the holiday season that excite her and there are parts that overwhelm her (like parties with my massive family). Most of than not though, I get the feeling that she sees this time of year as just another day.

I was so excited this year because for the first time one of my girls was really ready for all the fun that comes with the holiday season. Together alyssa and I counted down, started some new traditions and I even got to pass down some of my traditions from when I was growing up. Of course we included Courtney but I didn’t force anything on her.

There were moments where it tugged at my heart that she didn’t seem to care or understand why an Elf was leaving letters, why we were making special treats for her teacher or why we were making cookies for some guy named Santa. I didn’t let it stop me because Alyssa needs these traditions.

So no, I don’t know how Courtney feels about Christmas. What I do know is we will keep making it fun and maybe, just maybe, one day she will be able to talk about how fun it was.