When we became parents one of the many decisions we made was we were not going to let our kids share our bed at night. Not because we think co-sleeping is bad but because we didn’t feel it was best for us. With both girls I worked very hard at making sure they slept in their own bed. That is until my sleep deprivation got in the way of me being able to function.
It started off where they would come in to our room in the middle of the night but as I realized they slept better in our room I stopped having them sleep in their room all together. Why? Because a rested mommy means a happy mommy. Happy mommy means a happy family. This became what was best for our family.
Alyssa’s reason for coming into our room at night was because she was afraid of monsters. After several months of co-sleeping we decided to try to get them back in their room. Alyssa became very anxious about the idea because she was afraid of monsters. We tried a couple different things but we read the idea of “monster spray”. That idea backfired big time. If you need monster spray then there really must be monsters in the room! So not only did she become afraid to sleep in her room she was afraid to step foot in her room without someone with her. So co-sleeping continued.
This has been our way of sleeping for nearly two years now. Unfortunately it’s no longer working as it is affecting everyone’s sleep, especially Alyssa’s. And the saying, happy mommy, happy family? For us it’s sometimes seems like happy Alyssa, happy family. If she isn’t getting the sleep she needs, she becomes very unpleasant.
With the help and encouragement of Alyssa’s psychologist, we decided it was time to work on getting her to sleep in her own room. We quickly learned that her anxiety about sleeping in her room is real and intense so this isn’t going to be an easy process. Alyssa has picked a pretty big prize for the end of this process and is very excited to get there but the anxiety is still winning.
This week on her own she decided she wanted to start trying. You can see in her face how anxious she was but you can also tell she really wants to try. We are only two days into it and we are still only at the part of laying in our bed during the bedtime process. Last night she got super close to drifting off to sleep but as soon as she felt that drifting she quickly popped up and said I can’t and ran to our room.
I am so proud of Alyssa and her bravery. This process will be hard for her but I know we will get there.
By the way…we have NO idea how to go about getting Courtney in her own bed. That will be a whole other process and blog post.