It’s ok to not be “ok”…

I was born into this amazing (and large) family. If you are close family and friends you know my family has been in a rough patch as my mom broke her hip and shattered her funny bone while on vacation. We’ve had to watch her and my dad from a far go through a very difficult time. As hard as this has been on us all, we were able to see the beauty in it all too. Us 10 kids have come together (mostly through texts) to make sure we were by their side through it all. We have worked together to make sure their house is ready for their return. We have found ways to be their rocks even though we couldn’t be next to them. It was hard but it was beautiful too.

While the ordeal with my parents was going on, other things in my family of 4 were going on. Minor compared to my mom’s health but none the less, things have been piling up and I have felt it. Today I felt the heaviness of it all. I was going to crack. But there’s no time to crack. I have to remain strong and keep plugging along.

Then somehow I got a timely message from my older brother. A simple picture of a page in a book that shared that it’s ok to not always have it together. It’s ok to lose control. It’s ok to crack. You don’t always have to pretend you are “ok”.

At first his text put me to tears but then it gave me relief. It reassured me that though I felt like I was going to crack at any minutes, it was ok to feel all of that. If I needed to cry, scream, or admit I was going to crack, it’s ok.

I’m fine. We are fine. We will get through these bumps. If my mom and dad can get through what they just got through 1000 miles away from home, I can get through this pile of little things we’ve got going on. But thank you, Jeff, for reminding me it’s ok to not be “ok” at times.

Picture is of a tea party with Alyssa who I stayed home with today. What I thought was possibly Covid because of recent exposures ended up being her having an anxiety attack. We got through that and enjoyed a fun day just the two of us,

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