We’ve been here before. We seem to have to go through it at least once a year. It never gets easier. It’s the cycle where Courtney gets super constipated to the point that it also causes similar symptoms to a UTI. It causes her to have fits of rage that are inconsolable. A mother’s hug doesn’t come close to helping. In fact, me hugging her just puts me in danger of being scratched, pinched or bit. It’s a meltdown that wakes up the entire house in the middle of the night and keeps us up for hours. It leaves me feeling useless as a mother. I’m supposed to be able to help her but when this happens, I can’t. All I can do is let her know I’m here for her and love her. This is when autism is super hard.