When happy turns hard…

Courtney has these moments where she gets euphorically happy and hyper. It is very manic like. She starts running and jumping around, making very loud happy noises that are ear piercing. Just the simple action of going to touch her makes her melt to the ground like she is being tickled. Most people can’t help but smile when they see her like this and I agree, it is super cute to see her so happy.

As cute as these moments may seem to most people, these moments can be almost just as difficult as the moments when Courtney is irritable and or mad. During these moments Courtney has absolutely no control of what she is doing. When she is like this you can not get her to do a thing. I want to cry when she is like this when trying to get her in the car because touching her only makes it worse. She has had these episodes in restaurants. Her noises are so loud and ear piercing that you can see the other patrons staring. I’ve even seen some cover their ears.

Courtney can even become aggressive during these moments. She will just go up to you and pinch or scratch you while laughing. I can be so patient with her when she is aggressive but when it happens when she is like this, I have to really work on not losing my patience. Tonight Courtney had one of these episodes and the aggression was bad. She kept coming up to me and either grabbing my arm and pinching me. A few times she grabbed my cheeks and pinched them. Just as I thought she was calming down and laying in my bed she came up from behind and grabbed my face and scratched it.

I so often here when others see her like this…at least she is happy. Yes, I agree, at least she is happy. But this is Autism and even happy can be hard and ugly.

(Picture taken tonight once she was finally calm more than an hour later.)

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