Sometimes I think I expect Alyssa to act older than she is. She doesn’t have autism so she should be able to do everything Courtney can’t do. Even those things that most 5 year olds still struggle with.

She doesn’t have autism so she should always be able to tell me how she is feeling.

She doesn’t have autism so she should be able to tell me why she feels a certain way.

She doesn’t have autism so she should be able to understand why her sister does certain things.

She doesn’t have autism but she is 5. She is still a little girl trying to figure out her own emotions and how to regulate them in a crazy world. She is just 5.

Today was a hard day. Alyssa couldn’t tolerate Courtney and her noises whatsoever. Everything became a power struggle. Everything was a fight.

Tonight at bedtime as soon as Alyssa’s head hit the pillow she fell asleep immediately.

Oh Alyssa, why didn’t you just tell me you were exhausted today. That you were going to need everyone to be a little more patient with you. That you were going to need extra support to tolerate Courtney’s noises. Why didn’t you tell me, Alyssa?

Because she is just 5.